The enchanting world of French romance. When you think of France, you think of passion, sophistication, and of course, love. And who embodies this romantic image more than Frenchmen themselves? You’ve heard all about the dreamy side of French romance, but now it’s time to delve into some of the less dreamy aspects.
In this article, we’re taking a closer look at some of the stereotypes surrounding Frenchmen, straight from the trenches of an FB group called “Married to a French Man.” But hey, just because some folks say it doesn’t make it gospel truth, right? So, let’s roll up our sleeves, dig into these stereotypes, and see if they hold any water.
20 Shocking Negative Traits of Frenchmen: Exposing and Discrediting the Stereotypes
Flirtatiousness
Flirtatiousness can be described as a social behavior characterized by the expression of playful or suggestive gestures, comments, or actions, typically with the intention of conveying interest or attraction towards another person, while maintaining a lighthearted and non-committal demeanor.
POLLY: 101% True. My French partner is still in full flirt mode with me. Even after all this time, his words still manage to turn me into a blushing mess and leave me totally speechless.
Verdict: True
Emotional Aloofness
Emotional aloofness, commonly associated with Frenchmen as a stereotype, suggests a certain detachment or lack of expressiveness in emotional matters, potentially leading to difficulties in forming deep connections or understanding others’ emotions.
POLLY: My Frenchman is naturally reserved with a broody aura to boot. But after years of being together, he’s become one of the easiest people for me to connect with. Back in our early days, I once caught myself thinking he wasn’t tuned in while I rambled on. But lo and behold, he not only listened but mirrored my every word right back to me (or camera, because we were on video call). Since that moment, doubting his attention has become a thing of the past.
Verdict: False
Chauvinism
Chauvinism, widely recognized as a stereotype of Frenchmen, entails an attitude of superiority or dominance over women, often accompanied by beliefs in male superiority, which can contribute to gender inequality and discrimination.
POLLY: He never once made any remarks belittling women or joked about outdated stereotypes like women belonging in the kitchen. I remember sharing videos of so-called “alpha male” influencers dishing out advice on how to treat women or manage relationships. His response was straightforward: he dismissed them as attention-seekers only after views and clicks. He called them out as idiots and couldn’t understand why they were given a platform in the first place.
Verdict: False
Commitment Phobia
Commitment phobia, viewed as a stereotype of Frenchmen, describes a reluctance or fear to enter into long-term relationships or commitments, possibly stemming from a desire for independence or apprehension towards intimacy.
POLLY: Actually, it was him who expressed the desire to be in an exclusive relationship with me.
Verdict: False
Romantic Expectations
French culture is steeped in romance, from candlelit dinners to spontaneous weekend getaways. However, this romantic ideal can sometimes lead to unrealistic expectations in relationships. Frenchmen may feel pressure to live up to the romantic stereotypes perpetuated by books, movies, and media, leading to disappointment when reality fails to match fantasy.
POLLY: The first few months were a bit of an adventure, but we made it through together. I’ll never forget the time I spontaneously threw a mini party for him on October 3rd, four years ago (which happened to be National Boyfriend Day), and he seemed a bit surprised. You know me, I’m all about celebrating every little victory, milestone, and special occasion in life. However, for him, it was a bit of a new experience, probably because of our different cultural backgrounds.
So, I decided to have a heart-to-heart chat with him about it. Ever since then, he’s been totally on board with letting me get creative and go all out for whatever holiday or celebration comes our way. It’s been a journey filled with love and understanding, and I couldn’t be happier to have him by my side.
Verdict: False
Nonchalance
Nonchalance, frequently linked to Frenchmen as a stereotype, denotes an attitude of indifference or lack of concern towards various aspects of life, which may be perceived as careless or apathetic.
POLLY: Honestly, it’s just a front. You can trust me on that. If anything, he’s just as focused and concerned about things as I am.
When someone truly cares about you, they’re not just there physically, but emotionally too. They’ll invest their time, effort, and emotions because they genuinely want to be a part of your life. They’ll be curious about what’s happening with you and won’t just brush you off. Instead, they’ll be hands-on, actively involved, and eager to support you in any way they can. That’s the real deal when it comes to caring about someone.
This has nothing to do with their race, ethnicity or nationality, but everything to do with who they are as an individual.
Verdict: False
Jealousy
Jealousy, a stereotype often associated with Frenchmen, refers to a tendency to experience feelings of envy or suspicion in romantic relationships, potentially leading to possessive or controlling behavior that undermines trust and mutual respect.
POLLY: In the beginning, he was a bit suspicious about the people I interacted with both online and offline. He also voiced some concerns about the number of followers I had on my social media accounts. Questions like: Are they sliding into my DMs? Leaving comments on my photos? Making inappropriate remarks? Naturally, he wondered if he should be concerned.
At one point, it seemed like he was getting a little frustrated with the attention I was receiving. So, I took the opportunity to sit down and have an open conversation with him. I explained that running a blog means being active online, and I wanted him to understand what that entails. I showed him some of my activities and even gave him access to my social media accounts because, honestly, I’ve got nothing to hide.
Over time, he became more understanding and supportive. He started to let me do my thing without any interference. Sometimes, he even contributes ideas he thinks I might find interesting. And you know what’s funny? He’s become the subject of a few of my blog posts (just like this one, haha!).
Communication is key in any relationship, and we both made sure to talk openly about our boundaries, limitations, and expectations. It’s all about understanding and respecting each other’s needs.
Verdict: False
Demanding
Demanding, seen as a stereotype of Frenchmen, implies having high expectations of others and insisting on having needs or desires met, which may come across as imposing or burdensome in interpersonal relationships.
POLLY: Yes, he does have certain expectations, but it’s not over-the-top to the point of him being a diva or acting irrationally. His requests actually seem pretty reasonable. Plus, he’s never been the type to make a scene or demand to speak to managers like a “Karen” would.
Verdict: True
Vanity
Vanity, considered a stereotype of Frenchmen, pertains to an excessive preoccupation with one’s appearance or self-image, potentially leading to narcissistic behavior or an inflated sense of self-importance that alienates others.
POLLY: While it’s true that he takes great care of his appearance, from grooming his face and hair to maintaining a healthy physique (I mean, that six-pack is pretty impressive!), there’s much more to him than meets the eye.
First off, his attention to grooming and fitness can be seen as a positive reflection of his self-care and confidence. It’s about feeling good from the inside out, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
When it comes to his sense of style and love for certain brands of clothing and accessories, it’s more about personal preference and self-expression than vanity. Just like how someone might enjoy collecting art or books, he sees his shoe and watch collection as a way to express his individuality and appreciate craftsmanship.
Vanity typically implies excessive pride in one’s appearance to the point of being self-centered or narcissistic. Without knowing more about his personality and behavior, it’s difficult to say whether he fits that description.
In essence, it’s not about being obsessed with his appearance or seeking validation from others. Instead, it’s about taking pride in himself, embracing his unique style, and enjoying the things that bring him joy and confidence. And that’s definitely something to admire.
Verdict: False
Financial Expectations
Financial expectations, viewed as a stereotype of Frenchmen, suggests a focus on material wealth or financial stability in relationships, which may lead to conflicts over money or be perceived as materialistic.
POLLY: The age-old question of “who’s picking up the tab?” It’s definitely a topic we’ve discussed, and having our own budgets has made things smoother for us.
Here’s how we handle it: He’s always been really considerate and never expected me to cover my own expenses, but I like to show my appreciation by picking up the tab after he’s treated me first. And when he’s visiting, I make sure to chip in for other expenses like fuel or toll fees when we’re out and about, or picking up groceries and other necessities during his stay. He usually takes care of bigger expenses like hotel accommodations or renting an apartment, and other major purchases.
Now, let me share a little secret: There have been times when he’s surprised me with some extra cash, especially for our anniversaries and other special occasions when we’re apart. It was such a sweet gesture, and I truly appreciated it. Instead of using it right away, I decided to save it in a separate account for future use – specifically for when he comes to visit.
Call it foresight, but I’m really glad I set up that separate account. Every penny he’s sent me is safely tucked away in there, and I even make sure to add to it. It’s all about planning ahead and making sure we can enjoy our time together without any financial stress.
Verdict: False
Resistance to Change
Resistance to change, often seen as a stereotype of Frenchmen, entails a reluctance or unwillingness to adapt to new ideas or circumstances, potentially hindering personal growth or innovation.
POLLY: Despite the stereotype, Frenchmen demonstrate a remarkable openness to change, exemplified by their enthusiastic adoption of new culinary trends and fusion cuisines from around the world.
During his trips, my French beau showed an eagerness to explore new experiences, particularly when it came to cuisine. I introduced him to Filipino food, and he graciously dove in, embracing the flavors and textures with genuine curiosity. Not only that, but he also warmly embraced aspects of our culture and traditions, adding an extra layer of richness to our time together.
Verdict: False
Critical in Nature
Critical in nature, considered a stereotype of Frenchmen, typically refers to someone who has a tendency to analyze situations, ideas, or arguments thoroughly and objectively. They may scrutinize details and assess them carefully to form well-informed opinions or judgments.
POLLY: From what I’ve learned, the French have a knack for being quite theoretical in their approach to things. It’s like they apply the scientific method to almost every topic, meaning they like to thoroughly investigate and gather evidence or sources before drawing any conclusions. It’s ingrained in their education to think critically and analytically, which is why they often engage in debates when they disagree with a certain topic or when it doesn’t align with what they’ve been taught or know about. It’s not just about accepting things at face value for them; they prefer to delve deep and analyze before forming opinions.
Verdict: True
Stubbornness
Stubbornness, viewed as a stereotype of Frenchmen, refers to a refusal to change one’s opinions or attitudes, even in the face of evidence or reason, potentially leading to conflicts or impeding compromise.
POLLY: He’s probably the most stubborn person I know. Once he’s got an idea in his head or a goal he wants to achieve, you can bet he’s going to see it through. He’s like a force of nature, unstoppable. And when it comes to proving his point or getting things done, he’s always prepared with evidence or receipts to back him up. It’s like he’s got a whole arsenal of reasons ready to go!
Verdict: True
Impatience
Impatience, seen as a stereotype of Frenchmen, denotes a lack of tolerance for delays or inefficiency, often accompanied by a desire for instant gratification that can create stress or friction in relationships.
POLLY: I like to think I have a lot of energy and personality, which might be a handful for some people. It definitely takes someone with a lot of patience to be with me. So, with that being said…
Verdict: False
Lazy
Laziness, commonly associated with Frenchmen as a stereotype, suggests a reluctance or aversion to exerting effort or undertaking tasks, potentially leading to procrastination or a lack of ambition that affects productivity.
POLLY: We’ve got this cute little routine of hopping on video calls during his breaks, leaving the camera rolling while we dive into our own tasks. Sometimes, he’s all business, nose to the grindstone. When I brought up my concern about it, he just brushed it off with a casual “don’t worry about it” and promised that once he’s wrapped up, the evening’s ours to play with however I please.
Statistic-wise, according to the folks at Expert Market, France snagged the 15th spot out of 40 on the list of The World’s Most Productive Countries in 2023, boasting a GDP per capita of $55,492.60. And guess what? USNews chimes in, placing France at a cool 7th among the 10 Largest Economies in the World for the same year. Looks like France is flexing its economic muscles in style!
Verdict: False
Sarcastic
Sarcastic, viewed as a stereotype of Frenchmen, implies a tendency to use mocking or ironic remarks in communication, which can be perceived as belittling or offensive by others.
POLLY: I am convinced sarcasm is his mother tongue.
Verdict: True
Overcritical
Overcritical, seen as a stereotype of Frenchmen, suggests a tendency to be excessively judgmental or overly harsh in one’s criticism. Someone who is overcritical may nitpick or find fault in things unnecessarily, often focusing on minor flaws rather than considering the overall context or value of something. They might also be overly demanding or difficult to please.
POLLY: This is subjective. Critiques can vary from person to person, and what might seem overly critical to one can come across as thorough to another. The French are known for their openness in expressing opinions, even on everyday matters like the weather or bigger issues like social topics. I’ve received my fair share of critiques, and I’ve found some valuable points in them. It’s helped me identify areas where I can improve and grow. As for his communication style, while he can be direct, he’s always respectful and never makes me feel inadequate. He strikes a good balance between honesty and kindness, which I really appreciate.
Verdict: False
Temperamental
Temperamental, often considered a stereotype of Frenchmen, refers to having unpredictable or volatile moods, making interactions with individuals of this stereotype challenging or unpredictable.
POLLY: So, being temperamental isn’t really about being French. It’s more about individual personality traits and how people express their emotions. People from all over the world, regardless of their nationality, can have different temperaments. It’s just part of what makes us unique as individuals. So, while there might be stereotypes about certain nationalities, it’s important to remember that personality traits like being temperamental aren’t determined by where someone is from.
Verdict: False
Traditional Gender Roles
Traditional gender roles, viewed as a stereotype of Frenchmen, implies adherence to conventional expectations regarding the roles and responsibilities of men and women, potentially limiting individual freedom and perpetuating gender inequality.
POLLY: My French beau is totally tuned in to my hobbies and interests, even the ones that might not fit the traditional “feminine” mold. Not once has he thrown shade my way; if anything, he’s been my biggest supporter, cheering me on to keep doing what I love. Little gestures, like surprising me with new outfits and gear when I mentioned I wanted to dive back into Mixed Martial Arts after the pandemic restrictions eased up, really show his thoughtful encouragement.
Oh, and honestly, he’s way better in the kitchen than I am! He’s got a real knack for cooking and knows his way around the kitchen. Plus, he’s got a whole arsenal of delicious recipes up his sleeve.
Verdict: False
Inflexibility
Inflexibility, seen as a stereotype of Frenchmen, suggests a resistance to change or adaptation, particularly in attitudes or behaviors, which may hinder personal growth or innovation.
POLLY: Well, it’s a bit of a mixed bag, you know? Most of the time, he’s completely on board with whatever ideas I come up with while he’s visiting. But there are moments when he gets a bit frustrated if things don’t go as planned or if he can’t do what he had in mind. He’s usually open to suggestions, but every now and then, that stubborn side of him comes out. And when he’s had a long day, forget about trying to convince him to do anything else—he’s all about just kicking back and relaxing, sometimes needing a bit of alone time to recharge.
Verdict: False
Conclusion
As we wrap things up, it’s essential to acknowledge that dating Frenchmen can sometimes be associated with stereotypes, both good and bad. However, it’s vital to understand that these stereotypes don’t capture the complete essence of individuals. A person’s race, ethnicity, or nationality doesn’t define them entirely. Just like everyone else, Frenchmen are complex individuals influenced by a variety of factors, including their upbringing, traditions, values, age, and life experiences.
Many of the stereotypes mentioned in this article might not apply to every Frenchman, just like not all Filipinas are timid and submissive, I’m more than happy to challenge anyone and debunk these misconceptions. I’ll do it with a smile on my face and look them straight in the eyes, unblinking. As someone who cares deeply for a Frenchman, I find it disheartening and slightly offensive because, knowing him personally, most of these stereotypes simply don’t hold true.
Approaching relationships with an open heart, empathy, and a readiness to challenge stereotypes can help navigate the intricacies of dating Frenchmen with respect and understanding. Remember, effective communication, mutual respect, and support form the bedrock of any healthy relationship, regardless of cultural backgrounds. So, embrace the journey, celebrate the differences, and relish the opportunity to learn and evolve together.
