Bonjour, lovers! Welcome to the fourth part of our LOVE series! So far, we’ve talked about what Love Scams are, what it means to be “catfished,” and how to spot and avoid these tricky situations. We’ve also had an in-depth look at what happens when someone falls victim to a love scam.
Today, we’re diving into what makes victims fall for the deception known as “Love Bombing.” According to a study by Shane Co., a staggering 78% of dating app users have experienced love bombing. Even more surprising, 31% of them said the “L” word to their partner within just the first month of dating, and 52% of women reported feeling pressured to have sex with someone who had been love bombing them. It’s eye-opening, right? Let’s explore why this happens and how to protect yourself!
DISCLAIMER: Just a heads-up, everything I’m sharing is based on my personal experience and observations. While I’m not an expert on love bombing (I’ve always been a bit of a cynic and skeptic when it comes to relationships), I do have some background that might offer a unique perspective. My love languages are Acts of Service & Quality Time, and although I’m blunt and brutally honest, expressing love through words isn’t my strong suit.
I’m also a nurse with a background in Psychology, and I’ve had clinical experience, which gives me some insight into human behavior. On top of that, most of my friends are guys who, in the past, might have done some of these things (but don’t worry, they’re good boys now!). I also grew up with two brothers, so I’ve always been around different dynamics in relationships.

Love bombing might sound like a romantic fairytale, but in the hands of scammers, it’s a powerful manipulation tactic designed to deceive and exploit. This article explores the art of love bombing as a tool for scams, dissecting a chilling real-life example of how false intimacy can ensnare victims.
What is Love Bombing?
According to Cambridge Dictionary:

According to Cleveland Clinic:

How Love Bombing Works
Love bombing works by flooding someone with intense affection, attention, and admiration, often at a very fast pace. It starts with the love bomber showering the victim with compliments and making them feel special and unique. They might say things like, “I’ve never met anyone like you!” or “You’re the one I’ve been waiting for.” This rapid emotional connection can feel incredibly flattering and fulfilling, especially for someone who may be feeling lonely or seeking validation.
As the relationship progresses, the love bomber continues to maintain this level of affection, sending daily messages, making constant calls, and reinforcing feelings of closeness. This steady stream of attention makes the victim feel adored and emotionally attached, often causing them to develop a deep sense of dependence on the relationship. The love bomber may also create a sense of urgency, sharing personal struggles or crises that seem to require the victim’s support, which can create a bond and further deepen emotional involvement.
Over time, the victim might start to believe they’ve found their perfect match, especially if they feel isolated or vulnerable. The overwhelming positivity and affection can cloud their judgment, making it harder to see any red flags. In essence, love bombing works by triggering feelings of happiness and connection, which make the victim more susceptible to the manipulator’s control, often leading to emotional or financial exploitation down the line.
What Are the Forms of Love Bombing?
Love bombing takes various forms, all of which are designed to overwhelm and manipulate the victim through excessive affection and attention. Below are the common forms of love bombing that scammers (and even toxic individuals) often use to build false intimacy and emotional dependence:
1. Excessive Compliments and Praise
- Over-the-top Flattery: Scammers shower their target with compliments that seem too perfect to be true, often targeting the victim’s insecurities.
- For example, “You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever met” or “No one understands me like you do.”
- Idealization: They make the victim feel like they are the most important person in the world, often suggesting that they’re the victim’s “soulmate” or “true love” from the moment they meet.
2. Constant Communication
- Texting and Calling Non-Stop: Love bombers often engage in excessive texting, phone calls, and messaging through various platforms, often sending multiple messages per day. They’ll claim to be thinking about the victim constantly.
- Unsolicited Good Morning/Good Night Messages: They’ll send daily messages, telling the victim that they’re on their mind as soon as they wake up and right before going to bed. These messages are intended to create the illusion of a deep, unbreakable bond.
3. Rapid Emotional Connection
- Sharing Deeply Personal Stories: They will quickly reveal intimate details about their life, such as past traumas, dreams, and vulnerabilities, to elicit sympathy and a sense of emotional intimacy.
- Overly Intense Emotional Expressions: They may declare love or affection very early in the relationship, saying things like “I think I’ve known you forever,” or “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”
4. Gift-Giving and Grand Gestures
- Lavish Gifts: Scammers often send expensive gifts early in the relationship to create a sense of obligation and reinforce the illusion of generosity and caring.
- Romantic Gestures: They may send flowers, handwritten letters, or unexpected surprises, making the victim feel uniquely cherished and loved. These gestures are designed to make the victim feel special and to deepen emotional attachment.
5. Future Planning and Overcommitment
- Talking About the Future Too Soon: Love bombers often bring up long-term plans and future commitments very early, such as marriage, moving in together, or a shared life. This creates a false sense of security and attachment, making the victim believe that the relationship is on a fast track to something serious.
- Rushing to Introduce Family or Friends: They might talk about introducing the victim to family or friends, even though the relationship is still very new, as part of the illusion of long-term commitment.
6. Emotional Dependency and Isolation
- Making the Victim Feel Irreplaceable: They often make the victim feel like they’re the only person who truly understands them, fostering dependency. Statements like “I’ve never met anyone like you before, no one could replace you” create a sense of isolation from other potential relationships.
- Undue Influence and Control: The love bomber will subtly try to control the victim’s decisions and actions, often portraying themselves as the “only one who has their best interests at heart.” They may subtly isolate the victim from friends, family, or other support networks to become their primary source of emotional fulfillment.
7. Inundating with Attention and Affection
- Overloading with Affection: Love bombers flood their victim with an overwhelming amount of attention, whether it’s in person or via digital communication. This can include constant texting, calling, and expressing an exaggerated level of care and concern.
- Caring for Physical or Emotional Needs: They may go to great lengths to show they care, such as offering to take care of them when they’re sick, providing advice during difficult moments, or even arranging support during crises, all to deepen emotional reliance.
8. Manipulating Through Vulnerability
- Using Vulnerability to Gain Sympathy: They may disclose “personal hardships” or manipulate the victim with emotional stories, such as financial struggles, personal loss, or family issues, to elicit empathy and convince the victim that they are the “only one” who can help or understand.
- Emotional Blackmail: In extreme cases, a love bomber may even threaten to harm themselves if the victim doesn’t meet their emotional or material needs, creating a sense of urgency and guilt in the victim.
9. Fake or Exaggerated Affection from Afar
- Sending Pictures and Messages That Aren’t Genuine: In online scams, the love bomber often shares fake or stolen photos to appear more attractive or genuine. They might claim to be from a different country or have a specific profession, such as a doctor or military officer, to gain trust.
- Building a False Identity: Scammers often create a false persona to lure victims, portraying themselves as someone highly desirable, virtuous, or selfless to play on the victim’s emotions.
10. Constant Reassurance and Validation
- Reaffirming the Victim’s Value: They continually reassure the victim about their worth, often saying things like “You are perfect for me” or “I’ve never met anyone like you.” This makes the victim feel valued and appreciated in a way that feels fulfilling and comforting.
- Reassuring Love: In times of doubt or suspicion, the love bomber might send affirming messages like “You’re the one for me, no one else could take your place” to reinforce the victim’s attachment.
Who Are Vulnerable to Love Bombing?
People who are emotionally vulnerable or in need of connection are more likely to fall victim to love bombing. Here are some specific groups who are particularly susceptible, along with why they may be targeted:
- Individuals Going Through a Breakup or Divorce: Those who have recently experienced the end of a relationship may feel lonely, rejected, or unsure of their self-worth. They are more likely to seek validation and attention, making them prime targets for love bombers who offer quick emotional fulfillment.
- People with Low Self-Esteem: Individuals with poor self-esteem or a lack of self-worth may be drawn to excessive praise and attention. They may find comfort in the overwhelming affection of a love bomber, mistaking it for genuine care and recognition.
- Lonely Individuals: Those who feel isolated, whether due to geographic location, social anxiety, or personal circumstances, are more vulnerable to the rapid emotional connection offered by love bombing. The promise of deep, fast love can be irresistible to someone longing for companionship.
- People Seeking Emotional Healing: Someone recovering from emotional trauma, such as the loss of a loved one, financial hardship, or personal struggles, may be more open to the intense affection offered by a love bomber. They may find solace in the attention and empathy that seems to fill the void left by their pain.
- Older Adults or Widows/Widowers: Older individuals, particularly those who have been widowed or are living alone, may be more susceptible to the allure of affection from someone who offers companionship and care. A sense of desperation for connection can make them more trusting of someone who showers them with attention.
- People Who Desire a “Perfect” Relationship: Those who have idealized notions of romance or dream of a fairy tale relationship may fall for love bombing, believing that intense, immediate affection is a sign of true love. These individuals may overlook red flags in the hopes of finding their “perfect match.”
- Those with Limited Social Support: Individuals who don’t have a strong network of friends or family might be more open to a relationship that offers constant communication and affection. A love bomber’s attention can quickly fill the emotional gap left by a lack of support.
- Naive or Trusting Individuals: Some people, particularly those who have a positive view of humanity, may not expect manipulation or deceit in relationships. Their inherent trust in others makes them more likely to believe in the authenticity of love bombing and overlook signs of manipulation.
Real-Life Experience
David and “Angela”
Note: Names changed for privacy purposes.
David, a 45-year-old small business owner from Canada, was a kind-hearted but lonely man. Divorced for three years, he sought companionship through online dating platforms. There, he met “Angela,” a 32-year-old woman from a small village in Cebu, Philippines.
Angela portrayed herself as a modest primary school teacher with dreams of improving her students’ lives. Her photos depicted her smiling in front of a rural school, holding books, or engaging with children. Her warm demeanor and touching backstory quickly captivated David.
The Love Bombing Begins
From their very first conversation, Angela’s affection was overwhelming. She sent David long, poetic messages, constantly expressing admiration:
- “I feel so blessed to have met you, David. You are my angel, my one true love.”
- “Every night, I pray for a man like you. You’re my dream come true.”
Angela maintained daily communication, sending morning and evening messages filled with love and gratitude. Within weeks, she was calling him her “future husband” and emphasizing how fate had brought them together.
Her constant attention and declarations of love made David feel valued in a way he hadn’t experienced in years. Angela also shared deeply personal stories about her struggles, painting a picture of resilience and humility. This combination of vulnerability and affection drew David further into her web.
The First Ask for Money
Angela confided in David one evening about her school’s lack of supplies. She described heartbreaking scenes of children using scraps of paper and broken pencils. Although hesitant, David was touched by her dedication to her students and wired her $500.
Angela responded with photos of children holding new supplies, thanking him profusely:
- “You’ve made such a difference in their lives, my love. You are my hero.”
The love bombing escalated. Angela expressed even greater affection, deepening David’s belief in their connection.
Escalation of the Scam
Over the following months, Angela’s requests for financial help became more frequent and urgent:
- Medical Emergencies: Her mother was supposedly ill and needed expensive medication.
- Natural Disasters: A typhoon had allegedly damaged her home, leaving her in dire need of repairs.
- Family Struggles: She claimed to be supporting her younger siblings through school.
Each plea was intertwined with promises of love and devotion:
- “You’re the only one I can count on, my love. Every peso you send brings us closer to our dream.”
- “You are my soulmate, David. I can’t wait to start our life together.”
David, believing he was helping the woman he loved, sent over $15,000 in total.
The Moment of Realization
When Angela asked for money for a visa to visit Canada, David hesitated. He requested documentation, but her responses became vague. A friend suggested reverse-searching the images Maria had sent, revealing they were stolen from a real teacher in Cebu.
When confronted, Angela’s demeanor shifted. She accused David of not trusting her, then blocked him on all platforms. The realization of the scam left David devastated.
Psychological Tactics Used in Love Bombing
The story of David and Angela exemplifies the tactics scammers use to manipulate their victims:
- Excessive Attention: Constant messages, compliments, and declarations of love to build trust.
- Creating Emotional Dependency: Sharing personal struggles and vulnerabilities to make the victim feel protective.
- Leveraging Guilt: Framing financial requests as acts of love and support for a shared future.
- Exploiting Loneliness: Targeting individuals who are emotionally vulnerable and seeking connection.
Red Flags of Love Bombing in Scams
- Over-the-top declarations of love early in the relationship.
- Pushing for rapid emotional or financial commitment.
- Stories of hardship paired with requests for money.
- Resistance or anger when questioned about inconsistencies.
The Emotional Impact on Victims
Victims like David face a double betrayal: the financial loss and the emotional devastation of being deceived. The experience often leaves them with:
- Trust Issues: Difficulty believing in future relationships.
- Shame and Embarrassment: Feeling foolish for falling for the scam.
- Emotional Trauma: Lingering pain from the manipulation and loss of affection.
How to Protect Yourself
- Take It Slow: Genuine relationships develop over time. Be cautious of someone who professes love too quickly.
- Verify Stories: Use tools like reverse image searches and background checks.
- Involve Trusted Friends: Seek advice from friends or family about new relationships.
- Set Boundaries: Be wary of financial requests, especially early in a relationship.
Supporting Victims of Romance Scams
Victims need emotional support and practical guidance. Encourage them to:
- Report the scam to authorities or platforms where they met the scammer.
- Seek counseling to process their emotional trauma.
- Connect with organizations that assist scam victims.
Conclusion
The story of David and Angela serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of love bombing in romance scams. While the desire for love and connection is universal, it’s crucial to approach relationships with a healthy balance of openness and skepticism. Recognizing the tactics used by scammers can help protect yourself and others from falling into the trap of false intimacy.