Birthdays. They say 33 is the happiest age. Most people don’t buy it, but having spent the last 365 days testing this hypothesis, I agree. Your 30s are when you’ve worked out the kinks, found your stride, cultivated meaningful relationships, and you’re finally reaping the benefits of all those glorious life lessons.

And speaking of benefits… it’s official: I am the Birthday Queen. No crown required—just wisdom, sass, a few gray hairs, and a solid skincare routine.

Of all these, meaningful relationships are the greatest gifts that this Birthday Queen is extremely grateful for. I’m not just referring to romantic ones but also the relationships we have with our family, friends, coworkers, and even furbabies (I have 2 new pups named Liempo and Cooper)! I’m practically surrounded by crazy people. Now don’t get me wrong—when I say crazy, I mean creative, exciting, invigorating, and challenging. In short, it’s the good kind of crazy that fuels a proper Birthday Queen life.

Before the pandemic, this Birthday Queen partied like royalty. Week-long celebrations (especially in college), a calendar packed with plans, and the kind of chaotic joy only youth and cocktails can deliver. But now? I’m a self-proclaimed recluse. In fact, I recently earned the titles “Queen of Quarantine” and “Queen of Social Distancing,” which honestly just sounds like new crowns in my ever-growing Birthday Queen collection.

Since last month, these crazy people started reaching out more often, and some even sent presents. Honestly, this Birthday Queen was touched. In these dark times, we all need a little cheering up—and they surely delivered. I’m not hard to please. Give me a cold beer and we’re insta-best friends. Or a pack of Combos if you’re feeling generous (that’s a hint, by the way).

THE PRESENTS

• 2 canisters of Lysol – Pink!
• 3 packs of KN95 masks – Pink!
• 1 tornado mop – Pink!
• 600 ml Jim Beam mug
• 1 bottle of Absolut Vodka 750 ml (Grapefruit) – Yup, it’s pink!
• 6 cans of Stella Artois
• Mauviel M’Heritage cookware set

Crazy Creative, right? I mean, who in their right mind gives Lysol as a birthday gift? It took this Birthday Queen a while to recover from laughing. That moment spiraled into a 3-hour conversation that left my cheeks sore from smiling. Reminder to self: send him mothballs on his birthday. Long live petty royal revenge!

The Beau (A.k.a. The Court Jester)

The Beau (the craziest person I know) outdid himself once again. This Birthday Queen was gifted a bright star—literally. It’s now officially named after me and visible in the constellation of Leo, my zodiac sign. I mean… is that romantic or is he trying to one-up Netflix rom-coms?

He also made me Lady of Glencoe, introduced me to a traveler named Isabelle, helped adopt rescued koalas in Australia, and indulged my sudden Gundam model-building addiction. He even expanded my book collection—The Little Prince in multiple languages. Oh, and for putting up with my ‘Hamilton’ obsession (I still randomly burst into “My Shot,” deal with it).

The Birthday Queen bows to his patience.

Wish List

#1. Good Health and Well-Being

This Birthday Queen is wishing for good health and a clear mind. Maybe a new routine. Maybe just more green juice. Either way, health first—not just for me, but for everyone.

#2. More Wisdom

I can be a little stubborn (okay, a lot). But this Birthday Queen hopes to make better decisions and have sharper judgment. Being right is great, but being wise? Even better.

#3. To Travel Again

Yes, this Birthday Queen longs to travel again. Call it selfish, but my passport is begging to be used. I got my second jab, but I’m still cautious. I don’t want to be that tourist who turned a birthday trip into a superspreader event. Still, a girl can dream, right?

#4. To Continue Learning

Lifelong learning is on the agenda. Whether it’s a new hobby, a new job, or finally understanding cryptocurrency, this Birthday Queen is ready to flex her brain. Staying curious = staying fabulous.

Final Thoughts From Your Birthday Queen

If you’ve reached this point, this royal sends you her love and gratitude. Seriously, thanks for sticking around and spending time with a rambling, slightly tipsy Birthday Queen.

I’d love to hear about YOUR birthday wishes. What have you learned as you level up each year?

As for me? Level 34: UNLOCKED.

The crown? Still on, slightly tilted, and definitely earned.