You’ve probably seen it a hundred times: a Filipina rocking it with a partner from a different land. And you know what comes with it? All that baggage – the judgment, the gossip, the not-so-nice looks. People love to raise an eyebrow and start whispering, “Oh, she’s totally just in it for the cash or a one-way ticket abroad.” Basically, they’re shouting “gold digger” and “green card hunter” from the rooftops. But here’s the real deal: do Filipinas really go after foreign folks for their wallets or passport? Time to get the scoop, folks.

Breaking the Stereotype: Debunking the Myth of Filipinas Seeking Foreigners for Money

“Every time I judge someone else, I reveal an unhealed part of myself.”

– Don Miguel Ruiz, The Mastery of Self

We cannot deny that there are many Filipino women who wish to marry a foreigner with blonde hair and blue eyes. Many of them use online dating services to look for a husband.  You might already guess that most of them want to lift themselves out of poverty or use them as a ticket to leave their native country.

That’s a little harsh because I’m a Filipina with a career (I pay my taxes, after all) and yet they’re criticized just because they’re with a white man.

***These are based on my experience, if it’s relatable then yay, that’s great! If not, I do not mean to offend any of you.

#1 He bought me from a mail-order bride online catalog.

You won’t believe this, but I’m not on any dating app – never been, never gonna be. Probably because I’ve got this lazy streak when it comes to messaging, unless it’s all about work stuff. My Twitter? Oh, it only comes alive when I’ve got a new post to drop. The whole “swipe right” and “hmu” thing? I only really caught wind of those terms when a pal spilled the beans about her Tinder escapades.

Wanna know where he stumbled upon me? Brace yourself – it was LinkedIn, of all places. Yeah, he’s a buddy of a former colleague.

So, how did he catch my attention? He slid into my DMs right after I shared a link to a blog post. His message? “Hey, if you could jet off anywhere right now, where’d you go and why?”

I mean, that’s bound to pique anyone’s curiosity, right? My comeback was solid: “Definitely Big Major Cay, Bahamas.” And from there, well, you know how the story goes.

Oh, and about those mail-order bride catalogs? They’re actually a thing. I did some digging while I was writing this post, and let me tell you, my mind was blown. But, just for our mutual sanity, let’s totally skip over that part and pretend I didn’t even bring it up. And hey, just to put it out there, it is illegal in the Philippines.

#2 I am dating a foreigner because I need cash – lots of it!

Isn’t it kinda funny how some folks automatically connect the dots between being “rich” and having a light skin tone? Truth is, these people are just as regular as the rest of us. They aren’t using Benjamins to dab their faces or tossing money like confetti out of windows. And those fleets of fancy European cars for every day of the week? Nah, that’s not the reality. I’ve got friends living abroad who are hustling hard, working multiple gigs to keep the lights on and sometimes leaning on government support.

Me personally, I’m sitting pretty with a steady job that brings home the bacon. Letting someone else foot the bill for me? That would totally ruffle my self-respect feathers. Call it pride or whatever, but even with my exes (who, by the way, hailed from all over), I’ve always been the one to insist on paying my own way or splitting expenses. Heck, I even threw a birthday bash for one of my old flames.

This whole dynamic just feels kinda condescending, you know? And any woman who’s got true admiration for her partner and is in it for all the right reasons might feel the weight of those side-eye glances 24/7.

#3 I’m dating a foreigner because I am after his green card or his French passport.

Everybody knows I’m all about that travel life – that’s basically why I set up GoldenIslandSenorita.Net. Even before I got tangled up with my French boo, I’d already trotted through a bunch of countries. Can you believe he first asked for a pic of me chowing down in Asakusa, Japan?

Oh, and in 2019, I even jetted off to France all by myself, without his assistance.

I’ve got this big ol’ dream of hitting up every single one of those seven continents down the line, but when I’m kicking back in retirement mode, I’m definitely planting myself right here in the Philippines. My stint in Portugal? Let’s just say I can’t handle the cold – I was bundled up like a mummy and still felt like my backside was on ice. Then, Dubai? Man, that desert heat nearly turned me into a human puddle.

Here’s the deal: the weather here in the Philippines is my jam. Plus, there’s a heap of more than 40 provinces that I’ve still got to check out. Cough cough Great Santa Cruz Island in Zamboanga del Sur – you’re on my radar!

#4 I’m dating a foreigner because I want my future children to have blue eyes.

Alright, even if my partner and I go the whole nine yards and have kids, there’s no way I’m putting my money on them getting those blue peepers. Unless, of course, some super distant relative of mine had eyes bluer than the ocean and I’ve been lugging around those genes without a clue – but let’s be real, it’s not looking likely.

Funny enough, this is my go-to response when folks are curious. Honestly, I’d be totally cool if our little versions ended up snatching Grayson’s totally adorable baby blues, his slick dark blonde hair, and maybe, just maybe, a taste of his towering height (the guy’s a skyscraper at 188 cm, while I’m like a pocket-sized 149 cm).

#5 I’m dating a foreigner because I want my future children to be artista when they grow up.

Artista. noun, an artist, especially an actor, singer, dancer, or other public performer.

Synonyms: celebrity, personality · someone · star · somebody

You know what’s kinda interesting? Some folks in the Philippines get a real kick out of those Caucasian traits – you know, the whole deal with big round eyes, noses that don’t go all twisty, hair that’s light instead of dark, and skin that’s fair and dandy. This whole love affair with lighter skin, that goes way back to the days when the Spanish were calling the shots (and yeah, that’s why you’ve got this mega skin whitening biz booming here).

And here’s the kicker: you’re gonna have people checking you out, either giving you the thumbs up or turning green with envy. That’s all thanks to those “teleserye” soap operas we’re hooked on, where loads of the actors and actresses are this cool mix of Filipino and white.

I toss up a screenshot of me and my boyfriend video chatting, right? And guess what happens? The comment section goes bananas talking about how our future kiddos are gonna turn out.

#6 He’s only dating me because he thinks I am docile and submissive.

I straight up asked my boyfriend what made him go after me (he totally thought I was on a fishing expedition for compliments). And you know what he spills? He says he caught wind of some stuff about me from an old coworker of his.

But you know what? I’m pretty darn sure my partner didn’t stick around ’cause I was all docile and submissive. What’s cool is that we’re like this unstoppable chatter duo – we yak about whatever pops into our heads, whether it’s politics, biz stuff, history – you name it! We’re like champs at the whole friendly arguing thing too, always going back and forth. And guess what? He’s into my whole “fiery” and “opinionated” gig – those are his words, not mine, by the way.

#7 He’s dating me because I am obedient and I’d make a perfect “yaya” (househelp).

I mean, it’s kinda logical to assume that lots of women are pretty on point when it comes to house chores, but when you’re in a relationship and sharing a pad, it’s just not cool for the woman to carry the whole weight of domestic duties, especially if she’s clocking in hours at a job too.

I can’t wrap my head around the idea of being an obedient servant to anyone.

#8 I’m marrying a foreigner so he’d be obliged to support my family financially.

We’re kinda used to this whole old-school setup where the guys bring home the bacon while the gals hold down the fort, looking after the kiddos. But hold up – it’s not just Filipinas with foreign sweethearts who deal with this. And you know what? It’s all good if the lady decides to dive into work. And if she doesn’t, that’s cool too. Who are we to be all up in someone else’s business telling them what’s what?

In my house, both my parents are pros in their fields, and they rocked at keeping the family boat afloat. My mom? She’s this powerhouse, all strong and independent, and she drilled into me that it’s a must to stand on your own two feet. She’s all about doing her own thing and relishing the freedom that comes with it.

In a world where relationships cross cultures and boundaries, it’s essential to break down stereotypes and see people for who they truly are. The notion that Filipinas solely seek out foreigners for financial gain is far from the truth. As we’ve explored, there are multifaceted reasons behind these connections, ranging from genuine affection to shared interests and personal growth. It’s important to approach these relationships with an open mind, acknowledging that motivations can be as diverse as the individuals involved.

By challenging misconceptions, we pave the way for a more nuanced understanding of cross-cultural unions and the dynamics that shape them. So, let’s put the myth to rest and embrace the richness of real human connections, regardless of where they bloom.

Do you have a foreign boyfriend? If not, do you have any friends who are dating (or married to) a foreigner? I’d love to hear your opinions in the comments section below.